I imagine that the arrival of Election Day must be akin to laying down to die, for those people who believe that heaven awaits them in their afterlife. Because, really, we’ve all been on the edge of our seats for well over a year now — you can’t go five minutes without checking out the latest on Huffington Post or Five Thirty Eight, you have MSNBC on at all hours, the only topic you’re willing to discuss with friends and family is the campaign.
Tomorrow and Wednesday, assuming the outcome is in the Democrat’s favor, will be the first days in so many months that will allow you the intellectual rest you’ve long desired. You’ll feel like you’ve died and gone to heaven — waking up on November 5th will be an awakening from eight years living in a haunted house on the outskirts of town to find yourself living in the Governor’s Mansion (no charging the state a per diem for the nights you stay in your own house).
For those of you planning to imbibe adult alternative beverages tomorrow night, remember that they will heighten your emotions in the event of either a victory or a defeat. Being drunk when Ohio and Pennsylvania and Florida are called for McCain might be more like dying and going to hell — and waking up on November to find W. snuggling next to you. Be forewarned.